The How of Habits
Why is it so hard to build good habits?
This isn’t a question that people usually ponder while they’re having a productive time. Often the question comes out of frustration with ourselves as we fail to incorporate something new into our day. Whatever it is, we know it’s good for us, it could even be life changing, so WHY is it so hard to make this great thing part of our lives?
The answer, as many things do, lies in our brain.
“Betrayal” from the Brain
Our brains are fascinating!
On average it weighs about 3 pounds and is probably the consistency of a “firm jelly”.
Think about a squirrel. Now think of another squirrel. Now imagine those squirrels are made of the candied chunks in a fruit cake. That’s kinda what we’re looking at when it comes to your brain.
Two Jelly Squirrels.
As you might imagine, those squirrels don’t like to shake things up (too much wobbling.)
Neither does your brain.
Your brain likes familiar situations, consistency, old habits.
Why?
They take less energy. Turns out our brains are a little lazy.
There’s a part of your brain that deals with memories and patterns, that’s the basal ganglia.
There’s another part of your brain that deals with decision making, that’s your prefrontal cortex.
Now once you do something enough, your basal ganglia understands this pattern and the prefrontal cortex can think about it less, leaving more energy for other parts of your brain to do…stuff.
That’s why you may be able to think in depth about what you’re getting for lunch while easily and almost automatically driving to work.
While that’s very cool, it can also mean that once those habits get in there, they can be hard to break.
Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit says, “The best way to change a habit is to understand its structure.”
Image By Nathan-Dumlao
The Structure of Habits
At its core, habits are a 3 part process.
The Cue - What signals your brain to go through the automatic process it developed.
Things like time, location, emotional state, or even other people can all be cues.
The Routine - The habit itself unfolding
The Reward - Something your brain likes, that helps it remember the pattern for next time.
How many of the actions we take are just an automatic response to the world around us? We may mistake our behaviors as something we decided to do, when in actuality we did something because of a cue in our environment. Taking stock of our habits can help us have more control over breaking bad habits and starting new ones.
The Science of Habits
Let’s circle back to the brain for a minute. Neurons are nerve cells that send and receive information to other cells via connections called synapses. For example, your neurons are how you know how something feels, or if a muscle should contract etc.
With that in mind…POP QUIZ!
Who has more neurons in their brain, a baby or an adult?
If you said an adult you may be surprised to find that “average adult had 41 percent fewer neurons than the average newborn.”
Why is that?
As we age, we go through a process called “synaptic pruning”. While that may sound a little rough, if you’re a gardener, you may understand how this is actually a good thing. When you prune roses, you’re allowing for your plant to have more energy for better production of flowers.
In the same way, our brain notices which synapses aren’t really getting used and instead focuses on strengthening and putting more energy towards other skills that get more utilized.
As adults, we shouldn’t have as many neurons because we’ve specialized in so many things that make us, US!
We can also use this to our advantage when trying to develop new habits.
Image by Amin Hasani
The Power of Habit Stacking
Even if you don’t think you have a good routine, you probably have tons of things you do everyday automatically, habits that come so naturally you don’t even think of them anymore.
Rather than trying to develop a new habit on its own, which as you may recall, your brain is not thrilled about because it takes a lot of energy, it can be easier to link a new habit to a strong, established habit.
This process is called Habit Stacking.
The basic formula, as explained by James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, is:
After/Before [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].
How about an example?
Let's say that the first path is having your morning coffee or tea.
The new habit you want to start is stretching in the mornings.
Your formula will be:
"Before I have my morning drink, I will stretch."
Let's take it a step further.
When you're trying to link your habits together, it helps to get really specific.
If it's too vague or open ended, your brain has too many questions about the instructions and then nothing gets done.
Now let's update our statement:
"While my drink is brewing, I will stretch."
This has set parameters of when you'll start and stop stretching.
The concept of Habit Stacking was developed by BJ Fogg, author of Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything. He also suggests starting as small as possible and growing it as you establish your habit. If you make the habit you want to incorporate too big or elaborate, it’s less likely to stick.
So you may end up with something like,
"While my drink is brewing, I will do one stretch."
He also recommends having a little “celebration” when the new habit is complete. Remember the habit loop? The last step is a reward, it helps your brain wire in the new habit. It could be that drinking your coffee is enough of a reward, but you can also - and stay with me here - tell yourself you did a good job.
It might feel silly, but we beat ourselves up for things all the time.
Maybe you do a little fist pump, maybe you do a little dance, maybe think of your favorite song, or you might even imagine someone you respect telling you that you did a good job.
All of these things can help our brain feel rewarded.
Image by Clay Banks
Stacks on Stacks on Stacks
They say it takes 21 days to build a habit so be patient with yourself and don't rush to change your whole life.
However once you find that new habit has successfully connected to your routine, you may be ready for more.
In that case, you’ll be happy to know that you can add another habit to your habit stack!
Take your established habit and see what fits naturally into that momentum.
Soon you may be able to have a habit stack like:
"While my drink is brewing, I will stretch. After I stretch, I will drink my coffee and journal for 5 minutes."
Not a bad morning at all!
Make a list of some of the things you do automatically each day. Look at the cues and see if you can connect it with a new ambition!
If you take it a day at a time and imagine where you'll be by the end of the year!